Dear Diary,
I love going to school! I found the best spot on the fence where I can see both schools at the same time, but George is always trying to ruin it for me. I know he’s just jealous since I’m the most handsome guy out here, but why is he so annoying??? Anyway, I love this fence so much since I can just hang out here all day watching different classes and learning about everything they learn. For example, when I face West, I get a Grammar review, North is World History, East is Mathematics, and South is Dance. I used to go to a different school where I learned Science, Music, Latin, and Art History, but once they dissected a cat! I’m not a huge fan of cats, but I knew the guy on the table; his name was Mickey and he was a cool guy, for a cat, since he never chased me or anything. I spread the word about Mickey’s dissection and now we’ve all boycotted the school and put it on the toilet list.
So, now that I’ve switched schools I’ve found the best fence ever. It is just so awesome! It’s perfect for a nice little stroll, plus it even has footrests all across the top (I use them to practice my poses for my numerous suitors). Today I was practicing my pose for a portrait I’m getting commissioned and George tried to ruin it for me, like aways. I was obviously on the fence first, minding my own business, and then that ugly bird comes up and tries to one up me with his freshly washed feathers from the car wash. I wasn’t gonna take that from him! I challenged him to a dance contest and was so much better han him that he started imitating my awesome moves. Then I got annoyed and chased him away.
I really need to practice my pose and I don’t need an wannabees like George trying to mess me up. I am, afterall “Maurice, The Pidgeon King”, or a least I would be if we hadn’t become an anarchist society last year. So, for now I will continue to educate myself in the was of the humans and someday I ma run for president! Ooh, that rooftop over here looks like it has an even better view than this fence… Well, off I go!
Until next time,
Maurice – Former Pidgeon King, Future Human President
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